What is this?
Here you can see an example of a student’s submitted IELTS Task 1 Letter. First, you will see the grammar corrections and notes. Then you will see a suggestion of how to improve the letter for a higher band grade.
The Task
You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job.
Write a letter to this friend. In your letter
– say why he/she would not enjoy going to college
– explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her
– suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her
Letter With Grammar Corrections
Dear John,
Hello! I am very happy that you decided to demand [1] for a suggestion from me, regarding what choice you should make [2].
In my opinion you should get a job and I’m going to explain why.
First of all I have known[3] you since we were very young, we have done followed all our school path together and sincerely I remember how you disliked going[4] to school. That’s why I think you would not enjoy the college at all.
Secondly, [5] getting a job is the best option for you because you have always been practical with all kinds of tools, for example I remember when you came in to my place last year to fix the sink in my bathroom and you did an amazing job so I think getting a job is more suitable for you rather than going to college.
For instance you could find a job in a construction company or you could become an handyman. It is true you will start as an appretist apprentice and perhaps you won’t get a lot of money however the time will repay you very well[6].
To conclude, I hope that I have been useful to help you to clarify your ideas [7] and I can’t wait to see hear about [8] your decision.
Goodbye pal, hope to hear from you soon.
Your friendly,
Josh Baker
[Word Count: 218]
Notes
[1] ‘Demand’ is too strong for a casual letter
[2] Here the reader is not sure what ‘the choice’ is
[3] Use the perfect tense with ‘since’
[4] Like doing something / Dislike doing something
[5] ‘Firstly’, ‘Secondly’ etc are too formal for a casual letter
[6] This is a nice comment but needs to be easier to understand
[7] This is another example of overly formal language
Letter Improved For A Higher Band Score
Hi John,
I am so happy that you came to me with this. I know it’s a difficult decision, but in my opinion you should get a job and I’ll explain why.
I have known you since we were very young. We followed our school path together and I remember how you hated going to school. That’s why I think you would not enjoy college at all.
You have always been practical with all kinds of tools! For example, I remember when you came to my place last year to fix the sink in my bathroom and you did an amazing job. Perhaps you should look into following this kind of career path. It’ll be much more suitable for you than going to college.
You could even find a job in a construction company or you could become a handyman. It’s true you will start as an apprentice and perhaps you won’t get a lot of money at the start but it’ll definitely be worth it.
Anyway, I hope that I have helped you to make a decision and I can’t wait to hear what you choose to do.
Goodbye pal. Hope to hear from you soon.
Your friend,
Josh Baker
[Word Count: 201]
Remember!
The letter in IELTS General Writing Task 1 tests your ability to write a letter in a real and appropriate way based on the given situation. There are many correct ways to write a letter like this. This is just one possibility.
